oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Congratulations! We have a period
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