My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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