weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
