he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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