Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize