Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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