Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my shit smells like andre
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
