I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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