That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that