she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
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you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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