Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
