So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
