Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
