I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
