I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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