I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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