It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
