Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
