I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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