i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
