I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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