i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
