We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
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No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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