i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The feeling are messing with the penis
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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