ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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