i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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