Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
