You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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