...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
