please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
