Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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