Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
