please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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