I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I love having hate sex.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
pray to the hookup gods
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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