he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you never un-have a 4some
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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