took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
