Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
