i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
