Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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