I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
tell me about the fingering
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
