He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
