There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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