I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
