I CAN MOONWALK!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize