Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
