well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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