You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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