talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
