I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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