Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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