member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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