thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize