There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
