Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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