I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
