Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
