WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
