You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
