Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
