She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
