is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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