I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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